National Organization of
Parents Of Murdered Children, Inc.
For the families and friends of those who have died by violence
Dedicated to the Aftermath and Prevention of Murder
Fall 2023
Volume 41, Issue 3
Cont’d on page 2
THE MAGIC NUMBER
By: Beckie A. Miller
Being an old-time survivor of my son’s murder for thirty-two years now, new
survivors often ask me, “Will the pain ever go away?” Or “Will the pain ever sof-
ten?” I always answer with honesty. No, the pain does not ever go away and yes,
eventually it does soften its intensity.
The word soften often meets with looks of disbelief, because technically the loss
and pain in your heart never goes away, but it does grow softer with time and a lot of
hard grief work. It softens because we grow accustomed to it and it is not the all-
consuming horrific trauma it was in the beginning when we could never make the
senseless, violent way our loved ones were taken, stop running through our heads
any more than we could stop the continuous flow of tears. It softens as we accept it for all that it is – some-
thing we never get over. We do not wake up some day all better with their murder suddenly becoming okay.
Murder is never going to be okay.
I, for one though, am very grateful not to feel the pain as intensely as the first years. I could not have sur-
vived it in that intensity and on that level as a mother. It hurt incredibly bad. Everything hurt -- my mother’s
heart, my heart beating in my chest, my head, my stomach, every nerve in my body hurt, even my teeth from
clenching them so much to stop myself from screaming. My very psyche was shattered in one instant when the
police officer gave me the news that Brian had been robbed and shot to death walking his girlfriend home in
our neighborhood. Time was frozen that day. Everything became punctuated with after he was killed and be-
fore he was killed. His murder suddenly defined our past, present, and future. The world was no longer safe.
Home no longer felt safe. The damn grocery store was no longer safe! It became a place to grieve all the
things I would never buy of Brian’s favorites again and it was agonizing to shop for a long time afterwards.
So, is there a magic number of years when the pain softens? It is different for each of us, and it depends
how hard we work by getting support and dealing with the emotions that are the aftermath of murder. For me,
the first inkling of it softening began my fourth year, when I realized I had actually enjoyed putting up the
Christmas decorations that I had simply done robotically the past three Christmases. Of course, then my guilt
for enjoying them ruined the moment. By the time I had reached my fifth year, I was participating in Christ-
mas again and not simply being the onlooker stuck in the motions of living, and again, of course, I felt guilty.
I adopted a baby my fifth year of this awful journey and fooled myself into believing I would waltz through
the holidays that year busily taking care of my newborn daughter and oblivious to the pain. And once again,
guilt and surprise overtook me as depression and missing my son slammed me – but briefly. I realized each
step backwards is briefer in length and I bounce back quicker from anniversary days, birthdays, and holidays.
The magic number comes slowly and over much time. It sneaks in and surprises us little by little – the
first time we wholeheartedly laughed again after murder; the first time we went on vacation and did not con-
stantly think of who was not there to enjoy it with us; the first time shopping and not thinking of what we
SURVIVORS
Page 2
would never buy for our loved one again; the first time we realize life is for the living and it is okay to live
again after murder; or the first wedding or birthday we attend and finally celebrate for the wonderful event it is
and not for the event it will never be for our loved one. It sneaks upon us slowly.
Yes, the magic number does come eventually. And no, the pain does not ever end…but thankfully and, oh
so gratefully, it softens as we accept and give ourselves permission to live again. And know our loved ones are
cheering us on because they would want us to do just that -- live again. Take care of and be good to your-
selves.
THE MAGIC NUMBER
By: Beckie A. Miller
Cont’d from page 2
Bailey Hubbard, a senior at Mount Notre Dame High School (MND), in Cincinnati, Ohio, did her senior
Capstone Project on Parents Of Murdered Children. The Capstone Project allows each senior an opportunity
to demonstrate growth in the “Characteristics of an MND Empowered Young Woman,” focusing on the
service component of MND’s mission. Bailey chose to do her project to help kids by explaining the process
of grief to the kids. She did a great job talking to the kids.
Bailey wants to be an attorney and hopes one day to be able to give back to Parents Of Murdered Children for
allowing her to do the Capstone Project.
MOUNT NOTRE DAME CAPSTONE PROJECT
From Left to Right: Grace, Zionna,
Bailey Hubbard, Sophia, Sophia & Josh
Top Picture:
Grayson, Zionna &
Bailey Hubbard
Bottom Picture:
working on grief
project
SURVIVORS Page 3
A Message from the National Board
With Jay Gorski
Evolving Legislative Sentencing “Reforms”
“When the President’s Task Force on Victims of Crime, established by Ronald Reagan convened its regional
hearings in 1982, the power of the personal stories of crime victims was highly evident. Most crime victims
and survivors who testified felt that people didn’t understand their needs and concerns, and that the justice
system was significantly imbalanced in favor of defendants and convicted criminals.”
1
John Gillis, Director (September 2001-January 2009)
Office for Victims of Crime
At Parents Of Murdered Children (POMC), we have been seeing an influx of state legislation which can allow
inmates to be released from prison sooner than expected. These laws are being crafted under the guise of re-
ducing geriatric inmate healthcare costs or around issues such as sentencing reform. They are focused on
decarceration; reducing the number of inmates currently in prison and reducing the amount of time a future
inmate will spend behind bars.
A couple of examples of proposed legislation are:
New York Senate Bill S2423 seeks to allow those persons who have served at least 15 years of their sen-
tence and reached the age of 55 to be interviewed by the Board of Parole for the purpose of being re-
leased to community supervision.
A series of Michigan House Bills (HB 4556.HB4457,HB 4458, HB4459 & HB4560) seek to amend laws/
codes to allow prisoners after serving 10 years of a sentence to file a petition with the sentencing court
for a reduction of any or all of the prisoner sentences. With the exception of a person convicted of a
mass shooting, all prisoners after serving ten years, will be able to file a petition for resentencing.
At POMC we are opposed to the early release or parole of convicted murderers. “For survivors of homicide
victims, the early release or parole of convicted murderers is seen as a denigration of their loved one and re-
sults in extremely intensified emotions.”
2
As survivors of homicide victims there are several things you can do:
If you are interested in being notified of changes in an inmate’s status, make sure your contact information
is up to date with the victims’ services division of the prosecuting office that processed the case along
with any victim notification program such as the Victim Information Notification Everyday (VINE)
program. If you are not registered with a victim notification program and would like to be, check with
your fellow chapter members to see if they can be of assistance. If that is not available to you, you can
always check with POMC (National).
When you learn of any proposed legislation which can impact homicide victim survivors let the POMC
National know. We will need to know the State and the House or Senate Bill #. Our Legislative Com-
mittee will review the proposed legislation and then make a recommendation as to whether POMC, as
an organization, should support, oppose, or take no position. Please note that as an organization only
National POMC can support or oppose legislation.
Contact your local legislator(s) and all members of the committee reviewing the legislation. Identify your-
self as a survivor of a homicide victim and let them know how you feel about the proposed legislation.
Let them know if would like to testify before the committee reviewing the legislation. Before testify-
ing, be sure to do your homework and know their guidelines/rules (including time limits) for providing
testimony and submitting paper copies of your testimony. Remember to represent yourself as an indi-
vidual only, not as a POMC representative.
Encourage your network of family and friends to support your position by writing to their legislators.
Cont’d on page 15
SURVIVORS
Page 4
A Message from the Executive Director
With Bev Warnock
Hello Everyone!
The National Staff is still recovering from the annual conference that was in Atlanta, Georgia this year. It was
well attended with a record attendance of 270 since covid. There were 87 new survivors which is always sad
and wish that there weren’t any new survivors but the reality of it is there are. We are sad that they have to
come to the Parents Of Murdered Children Conference but glad that they have a place to come and get the sup-
port and comfort that they need. The conference had a lot of great workshops, and a few surprises that the at-
tendees enjoyed. Hope that many of you will make it to the 2024 Conference at the Harrah’s Hotel in Las Ve-
gas. It has been 8 years since our first destination conference in Las Vegas and that was not accomplished
with a Chapter helping. That was the start of the conference being organized by the National Staff and a Con-
ference Committee and it worked out well and we are still doing it that way. The Conference Committee is a
big help at the conference with all the work that needs to be done and I can’t thank them enough for volunteer-
ing their time at the conference. Thanks to Connie, Faye, Marie, Patty, Roy, Dan, Glen and Kathy, it wouldn’t
be a great conference without all your help.
We will begin training for the Effective Leadership Training in January and will hold two sessions – one in
January and one in February. If you are interested in attending one of those trainings please let Sherry know at
Thanks to the National Board of Trustees for their continued support and guidance to help the National Office
with all the issues, problems, and bills for legislation that continue to come to National. They dedicate their
time to look at each issue and discuss the involvement of POMC and their decisions are for the best interest of
Survivors only. That is what POMC is here for; the survivors and to be able to help them in anyway that we
can.
In closing, remember to do something good for yourself whatever that may be. You deserve to have some-
thing good and positive while you are going through the “journey of grief”. Always take care of yourself espe-
cially your physical health. Please give Sherry or myself a call if you need to talk or if there is anything that
we can help you with.
With love,
Bev
FYI: GREENLIGHTS GRANT INITIATIVE (GGI)
Greenlights Grant Initiative (GGI) purpose is the help keep students safe in school.
Greenlights’ Mission:
The Greenlights Grant Initiative (GGI) provides tailored and free resources to assist nationwide school
districts access to school safety grants. Our tools include webinars, guidebooks, how-to’s, and tutorials.
By providing information and support, the Greenlights Grant Initiative aims to enhance a school district’s
ability to successfully apply for and receive federal grants so schools have the resources they need to keep
students safe. To receive all available GGI resources, the link is:
https://portal.greenlightsgrantinitiative.org/s/contact-us
SURVIVORS Page 5
Cont’d on page 6
Lisa Hullinger Memorial Award
This award is presented to an outstanding individual who has shown
exemplary contributions to all survivors of homicide victims, acts of
compassion that have contributed to the recovery of survivors, and
dedication in supporting full rights for victims/survivors.
Congratulations to this year’s recipients,
Lona Carr & Amanda Mappes!
Making A Difference Award
The Making A Difference Award is presented to an outstanding survivor in
recognition of their work which promotes and supports the victims of
homicide. The recipient will have shown their efforts through promoting and
supporting the image of POMC and contribute to the memory of those who
have died by violence.
Congratulations to this year’s recipient, Torrey Gough!
John W. Gillis Leadership Award
This award is given to a professional or survivor who fights for the rights and dig-
nity of crime victims and survivors of homicide victims.
Congratulations to this year’s recipient, Derek Marchman!
Courage Award
This award is given to an exceptional individual for their dedication and out-
standing compassion in support of National POMC’S mission to help all survi-
vors. Thank you for going the extra mile.
Congratulations to this year’s recipient,
Betty Maddox Battle!
SURVIVORS
Page 6
Ken Czillinger Award
This award is presented to an outstanding individual in recognition of their con-
tributions to the memory of those who have died by violence. It is only given to
someone who has done something very special or is very dedicated to POMC.
They bring about a positive awareness of the special work that they do for
POMC members and its chapters.
Congratulations to this year’s recipient,
Reverend Dr. Bruce Cook!
National Service Award
This award is given to an organization, business or school that supports or promotes
the philosophy of POMC. The recipient will have shown their efforts through such
activities as, showing understanding and support to survivors of homicide victims
and promote and support POMC efforts for survivors and homicide victims.
Congratulations to this year’s recipient,
The Christina Grimmie Foundation!
Dr. Aranosian Award
This award is presented to an outstanding individual that has exhibited excep-
tional humanitarian effort in providing survivors with comfort and knowledge to
ease their fears and suffering following the murder of a loved one.
Congratulations to this year’s recipient Meg Heap!
California Correctional Peace
Officers’ Association
CCPOA staff members once again showed their support
of POMC’s vision and mission with a generous $10,000
donation. Members of their staff have led workshops and
have opened many doors into law enforcement circles.
Victim survivors have gained much through their many
efforts.
SURVIVORS Page 7
PICTURES (clockwise): Guests of Honor - Our Loved Ones, MC Paul Paulsen, Welcome/Chief Mirtha
Ramos - DeKalb County Chief of Police, Unveiling/Atlanta Police Department Honor Guard, &
Therapy Dogs Board Meeting.
FROM ONE SURVIVOR TO ANOTHER
By: Julie Waldon
I’ve never felt qualified to give advice so I have a tendency to speak of my experiences from my perspective.
Recently I was asked what I would say to a young adult dealing with the loss of a brother to murder.
So for the starting point of this writing: I’m now 61. I was 20 when my oldest brother, Blair who was 26, was
killed by another man. I’m basically speaking from today’s perspective to my younger self. What I would say
to 20 year old me...
It hurts so much because of how close you were and how much we loved/love each other. He protected you,
watched out for you and took punishments for you. He loved you unconditionally and you loved him the same
way, right back. You knew each other’s inside jokes and what each other would say. Often you didn’t have to
speak. You just knew.
That’s a tremendously tight and close relationship and it hurts like hell cause he’s gone. He’s not coming back.
You are left to carry on. But it hurts so much you can physically feel the pressure in your chest. Your breath-
ing is very shallow. And you swear that your heart is physically breaking to the point that you don’t know if
you will wake up each morning or survive this.
I need you to understand that you are still alive. I know it doesn’t feel that way, but you are alive. You will
Cont’d on page 8
SURVIVORS
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survive this even though you don’t think you will... you can’t even see a possible way that you will survive.
You will wake up each day and wonder how that was possible because the night before you were hurting so
much it was actual physical pain.
Your brother would want you to carry on, be happy and have fun. But how? Because it was homicide...it’s so
complex and different... if it had happened the other way around and I was killed...he would kill the person
that killed me. Give up the promise of revenge that you made. It will only serve to ruin your life. It will hold
you back. You are here and he is not and if he could come back and walk through your door he would be so
upset that you are upset and stuck and immovable. It would break his heart and he would beg you to snap out
of it. He would definitely ask the whole family, “what the hell are you all crying about?”
He always wanted the best for you and if he could walk back through the door he would tell you just that.
I’m telling you because it’s so hard to see through the sadness, depression, tears and pain that you can’t think
straight and it’s due to trauma. You seriously need to understand that it is trauma that has you incapacitated.
Trauma is all encompassing, causes the depression, sadness, physical pain, brain fog and severe memory loss.
You can’t remember what he looked like, sounded like or how he smelled. You expect him to call all the time.
You think you see him everywhere. This is trauma and grief mixed together. You are not going crazy. It is
normal.
But you are so young and your life is not established. Therefore it’s ex-
tremely important for your future happiness that you learn more about trau-
ma’s effects. You need to understand that it’s more than imperative to
make absolutely sure that you pick the best person to marry and have chil-
dren with. Also the best people to have as friends.
I know you feel that you’ll never feel ok again. You won’t for awhile but if
you pick the wrong spouse AND friends, and you just settle for who will
have your broken self, you will end up with more trauma piled on to this
trauma. You will then find yourself alone in your old age.
You have no idea how strong you actually are now and will become.
Know and understand that the pain of loss is so intense because your love
for him was so deep. The grief is also compounded by trauma.
You will still grieve as your brain develops and matures to the age of 25
(this is the age the medical community believes that the brain becomes fully developed) you will go through
new stages of grief.
As you may know grief comes in waves and will continue to do this for years. Learn what triggers your
grief...like music, food, etc. You can’t stop most of it but you can stop some.
You need a support system of a minimum of 4 people. The more the better. That way one will be available
when you need them. It’s absolutely imperative that they be completely trustworthy. Ask each person if they
will be part of your support system and let them know that they just need to listen...they don’t have to fix you.
It’s ok for them to just listen.
Journaling will help immensely. Never let people you can’t trust completely see or read your journals. Keep
them locked up and hidden away. No one needs to know that you journal. There are several approaches to take
to journal... just writing. It doesn’t have to make sense at all. The dear diary approach. The letter approach.
Letters to your brother, friends, relatives, law enforcement, states attorney, a judge, the killer. DO NOT MAIL
THESE LETTERS. It’s a journaling style only.
Don’t do drugs or alcohol to numb the pain. It will impair your other life decisions and make your life fall
apart and become utterly devastating. Even more so than it is now.
Cont’d on page 9
FROM ONE SURVIVOR TO ANOTHER
By: Julie Waldon
Cont’d from page 7
SURVIVORS Page 9
Go to a grief and loss support group...POMC support group is advised as homicide grief is very different and
you will definitely feel different from everyone else and you are.
You’ve already been through more life experiences than your parents and grandparents had when they were
your age.
The age your parents were when your brother died...they had already found their spouse. Gone to college. Had
a family. Had eatablished jobs, careers, and friendships.
It’s going to be somewhat harder for you to establish these things. However, if you don’t settle for relation-
ships of any kind you can have a good life with loving and supportive people that are friends and your spouse
and life will improve immensely.
Go out of the entire area for college and work, if you need to, to avoid hearing about the murder case and the
disruption that it causes.
Consider moving away, permanently, if the case is always being talked about. It’s easier to move if you have
gone to college and established new friends.
You have also been through more than most counselors and therapists. If you ever decide to go through coun-
seling or therapy understand that you actually know more than they do. Know that they may see you as a
“long term”, a financial whale or cash cow client and take advantage of you. Understand that their job is often
boring but your stories are not. You are not there to make their job more interesting. It’s ok to walk away from
that.
If you do seek this help make absolutely sure that said therapist/counselor is educated, trained and actually has
several years EXPERIENCE with grief counseling...education in trauma would be a major, major plus. Don’t
let them take advantage of you though. Don’t ever be afraid to say no to them.
Know and understand that you may have PTSD. It’s helpful to figure out what your triggers are. There may be
tons of them. When you do have a flare up just stay home, if possible, in a quiet place and ride it out. Tell peo-
ple you live with not to disturb you. Ask them to be quiet during your flare up. You may need them to get you
some food for when your feeling a little better. You will come out when it passes. Understand you still won’t
feel normal after it passes but you will after you get some food and mainly sleep. SLEEP IS RESTORATIVE
AND HEALING.
For a handful of years you may not feel like eating and feel nauseous. This is because the brain is on complete
overload with trauma and grief and can’t handle anything else and will actually start shutting down systems in
the body. Especially the Digestive system. (It takes a lot to digest food). The brain and psyche are actually
producing symptoms here and crying out for help.
You need to consider these symptoms as an alarming cry for help. It’s time to shut down and sleep. Soup and
maybe non dairy healthy shakes is the answer here. Make it easier for the brain and take care of it by eating
soup, drink carbonated sodas or ginger beer (healthier and brown) & saltine crackers help with nausea. Rest
and sleep as much as possible during these times so the brain can heal itself.
Food items that are a must to keep on hand....At home and at work.
Soups
Crackers - saltines
Clear sodas or my favorite Ginger Beer (not clear but works the best). Keep soda non refrigerated.
Orange Juice...has vitamin C and works quickly on a cellular level.
You will ultimately find your own way through this. And your brother would support you the whole way
through and would be proud. You know that he only wanted good things for you. He wants you to be happy.
He would actually feel bad that his death made you so sad. He would understand it but would still want happi-
ness for you.
Cont’d from page 8
Cont’d on page 13
FROM ONE SURVIVOR TO ANOTHER
By: Julie Waldon
SURVIVORS
Page 10
Maintaining the Beauty of the
MURDER WALL...Honoring Their
Memories
Time and much travel have put stress on the many
panels of the Murder Wall… Honoring Their
Memories, and scratches, nicks, and dents need to
be repaired. Many of the cases that are used to
transport the Wall have split or broken, handles have
fallen off, and the protective material inside each
case needs to be replaced.
Currently, the Wall is made up of 34 panels,
displaying over 4,000 victims’ names, dates of birth
and dates of death.
In order to maintain the beauty of the Wall, POMC
continues to seek donations to help make some of
the repairs. To help, please use the form below.
Donations made in memory/honor of, will be in the
next issue of Survivors.
POMC-Wall Repair
(Please Print)
Name:______________________________________
In memory/honor of:__________________________
Address:____________________________________
City, State, Zip:______________________________
Email Address:______________________________
Amount enclosed: $_________ Check:____
Money Order :____ Visa:_____ MC:______
Am. Express:______ Dis:_______
Card Number:_______________________________
Expiration date:________________
Security Code (back of card):________________
Return to:
Parents Of Murdered Children, Inc.
635 W. 7th Street, Suite 307
Cincinnati, Ohio 45203
Donations to Maintain the Beauty of the
Murder Wall… Honoring Their Memories
Thank you for your donation to maintain the
Murder Wall:
WALL BOOKLETS HONOR THEIR
MEMORIES
POMC’s Murder Wall...Honoring their Memories
is a beautiful memorial to the more than 4,000
murder victims whose names appear on the
Wall. Behind each name there is a face and a
story of a person whose life was taken prema-
turely. It is time to tell those stories.
Memorial booklets, which travel with the
Wall, are compiled as an ongoing project of
National POMC. Cost is $20.00 to include
one page, front and back without a photo, or
$30.00 if you wish to have a photo included.
The photos are non-returnable and must be no
larger than 2 1/2 by 3 1/2 inches.
Forms are available on the POMC Web Site
at: www.pomc.org or by calling National at
(513) 721-5683.
Howard & Ann Klerk
Memory of Lisa Marie Weaver
Carol Leonhardt
Memory of Janet Leonhardt
Jean Lewis
Memory Scott Lewis & Janet
Marie Bunkers
LC & Sherry Nolan
Memory of Shannon Marie &
Alexandra Jordan Nolan-Broe
Joan Roback
Memory of Jim Roback
Denise Coleman
Memory of Timothy Staunton
SURVIVORS Page 11
The names that appear in this issue of Survivors are those that have been submitted to the National Organization of POMC, Inc.,
with full or partial payment before September 20, 2023 after this date will appear in the next issue.
The Wall consists of solid walnut panels with each holding 120 brass plates inscribed with the name of the victim, along with the
date of birth and the date of death. A donation of $75 is required before a name will be inscribed on a plate and permanently
mounted on a panel. (See order form inside this edition.) Not only is this donation a tribute to the memory of your loved one, but
it is a tribute that will guarantee that the memory of those we miss so deeply will survive forever. The Wall is a powerful
statement of the violence in our society and of the numbers of loved ones senselessly killed by others. Not only does it give
comfort, but also hope, because every name on it cries out silently for awareness, prevention and justice.
MURDER WALL...Honoring Their Memories
Murder Wall...Honoring Their Memories Order Form
Anyone interested in having their loved one’s name inscribed and permanently mounted on the Wall
should fill out the order form below. Make checks payable to “POMC Wall,” or for your
convenience, Discover, Visa, MasterCard, and American Express are accepted.
Send to: Parents Of Murdered Children, 635 W. 7th Street, Suite 307, Cincinnati, Ohio 45203
LOVED ONES INFORMATION
Loved ones name ________________________________________________________________________
Date of Birth________________________ Date of Death_________________________
PAYMENT INFORMATION
Choice of payment (check one): ______Pay in full for $75.00 OR ______ 3 payments of $25.00 each
Payment type: ____ MC ____Visa ____Am. Express ____Discover ____Check
Card Number______________________________ Exp. Date _________ Security Code___________
SUBMITTERS INFORMATION
Name___________________________________________________________________________________
Address_________________________________________________________________________________
City, State, Zip___________________________________________________________________________
Phone Number___________________________________________________________________________
Relationship to victim_____________________________________________________________________
The name will be added to the panel upon payment in full. Once your plate has been permanently
mounted on the panel, you will be notified. New panels join the Wall as they are completed.
Roxanne McGreehan
3/28/82 - 10/18/02
Aubrey Rose Hutchinson
5/14/20 - 7/23/22
Ticoa “Cocoa” Brown
6/5/75 - 12/15/18
Jalen L. Hunter
6/15/95 - 8/24/21
Kyren Dee Lee
12/15/15 - 8/6/22
Aliyah Raeshell Lee
11/16/17 - 8/6/22
Trinity Lianne Lee
10/19/18 - 8/6/22
Ivan D. West
7/25/85 - 9/29/13
Vincent Edward Woodley, Jr.
12/4/88 - 9/26/22
Dion Troy Clayton
3/22/93 - 5/4/20
SURVIVORS
Page 12
Parole Block™ is a program of the National Organization of Parents Of Murdered Children, Inc.
Parole Block Program
1846
Convicted mur-
derers have
been
denied parole
through
POMC’s
Parole Block
Program!
With
Bev
Warnock
Denied Petitions: Douglas Hinton Bell, Jeffrey Blair & Lucas McCarley
Hearing Results:
Shannon Marie & Alexandra
Jordan Nolan-Broe
From LC & Sherry Nolan
Timothy Staunton
From Denise Coleman
Janet Leonhardt
From Carol Leonhardt
Howard & Ann Klerk
Memory of Lisa Marie Weaver
Support the Parole Block Program
In Memory of:
Dear Beverly,
Thanks to your continued support I can tell you that Jeffery Blair will not be paroled at this time. He will be reconsid-
ered in March 2026. We as a family are very grateful for your support and our community is a safer place because of
your efforts. Your continued support is very much appreciated and needed.
Thank you most sincerely,
Mary Beth Henry, The family of Bridget Ann Buxton
LETTERS FROM THE PAROLE BLOCK PROGRAM
PAROLE HEARINGS TO BE HELD
Hearing Date: April 2024
Tommy S. Pandur ID#: A217-358
On May 13, 1989, Tommy S. Pandur raped and brutally stabbed April Lynn Sinclair of Medina, Ohio, 19 TIMES, while
her 6-year-old son lay in the other room under his bed, fearing for his life and his mother’s. Tommy S. Pandur kept
stabbing and raping her while she was already dead, showing postmortem and plenty of defense wounds, she was trying
to get away from this monster and couldn’t. He left her to die in a pool of her own blood. He fled to Canada to escape
justice, but was brought back to the United States.
Pandur pled guilty to 1
st
degree murder and was sentenced to 15 years to life in prison. He will have served 34 years
when he is considered for parole.
We, the undersigned STRONGLY OPPOSE parole for Tommy S. Pandur. Justice demands he serve the FULL PRIS-
ON TERM given to him at the time he was sentenced for this heinous crime.
Ohio Parole Board, 4545 Fisher Road Suite D, Columbus, Ohio 43228
Kids Wish Network’s
Hero of the Month Program
Some of the Hero program’s automatic qualifiers include children between the ages of 3 and 18 (nominated
by the age of 17) who are grieving the loss of a sibling, parent (legal guardians as well), or who have a parent
undergoing cancer treatment. We reward qualifying Heroes with a generous retail gift card, Hero bear, Hero
shirt, and a certificate to honor their bravery. The amount of the gift card can vary depending upon our non-
profit charity’s current program budget for the month, and each qualifying child in the family is recognized.
Gift packages are mailed directly to the family’s home.
Go to https://www.kidswishnetwork.org/refer-a-child for additional information and application form.
SURVIVORS Page 13
Helpful things:
Spend time around nature...even if it’s a drive on a country road or watching the sky.
It’s the little things that will bring you grounding again.
Recognize that there are moments that you are not annihilated by trauma and grief. Grief comes in waves and
are powerful like the ocean. But the ocean is sometimes calm and so are you. It’s time to notice the calmer
times.
Journaling.
The book: “No Time For Goodbyes” - by Janice Harris Lord.
Volunteering your time in a soup kitchen is especially helpful. Do it during the holidays if the holidays are too
hard.
Whiffle bat: this is for the anger - you might want to get a few of them as they break easily. When you feel
like you need to scream...beating on old couch/ chair with a whiffle bat sometimes helps. If you ever decide to
level up...CAUTION: if you ever decide swinging a hammer at an old appliance would be more satisfy-
ing...make sure your heads out of the way when the hammer recoils. Helpful tip: chopping wood would be
better and there’s less recoil.
Being kind to yourself. Do different things...it stimulates the brain and helps it on its healing journey. Start
new holiday traditions. You can still buy things for him in a different way...like donations in his name.
My brother played the guitar and wrote songs. He recorded himself singing and playing the guitar on cassette
tapes. I made copes of the tapes and some pictures of him about 10 years after he was gone and sent them to
his closest friends and relatives. It was the most satisfying thing I have ever done for my grief. Those receiv-
ing the tapes and pictures were so grateful.
Light an aromatic candle.
Listen to classical music.
Take a long bath...with Epsom salts.
What happened to your brother is NOT your fault.
You don’t deserve this.
You didn’t do anything wrong.
You couldn’t save him.
The guilt is a lie from the pit of hell.
In 41 years of dealing with this tragedy the only way I’ve found to get rid of the feelings is calling on Jesus
Christ. He understands.
You can’t protect your heart from more pain by not loving someone else as much as the person that you
lost...or by not loving someone at all. Love slips in anyway and you could have better and more satisfying re-
lationships if you allow yourself to just let it be...feel it. It’s ok.
Cont’d from page 9
FROM ONE SURVIVOR TO ANOTHER
By: Julie Waldon
I’M THINKING OF YOU
by Anonymous
I’m thinking of you all day and all night
I can see you clearly when you are nowhere in sight
I’m feeling your pain, I’m hearing your name
I dream that I’ll feel your heartbeat again
SURVIVORS
Page 14
Thank You
Thanks to all those who have chosen POMC as their charity of choice. Your donation has
helped thousands of surviving family members; stopped the early release of 1,846 convicted
murderers; assisted in POMC’s Second Opinion Services; provided the National newsletter, Sur-
vivors, to those who cannot afford it and so much more. POMC’s outreach would not be able
to exist without your continued support.
In Memory of
Douglas Allen Ballence
From Debbie Young
Annette Boyle
From Laura Reinert
David Castleberry
From Shannon Carter
Jarrod Chrisman
From Rodney & Susie
Chrisman
Ochari D’Aiello
From Charon Sandoval
Dillon Decoster
From Claire Decoster
John Drees
From Sue Drees
Bridget Drobney
From Bridget “Cathy”
Drobney
William Freitag
From Peg Kerouac
Luis Miguel Pastor-Galligos
From Rosario Thompson
Albert Garland
From Gabrielle Aroshas
Louarna Gillis
John & Patsy Gillis
Tim Garsow
From Patty Walters
Susan Green
From Marilyn Kramer
Anthony Gubitosi
From Joanna Stokinger &
Tessa Gubitosi
Kyle Gulledge
From Julie Gulledge
James Hitt
From Deborah Hitt
Mary Eileen Hughes-
Cornwell
From Marcia Tucker
In Memory of
Christy Huser
From Connie & George Huser
Steven Isheim
From Terry Isheim
John Kippert
From Pat Kippert
Molley Lanham
Stacy & Mark Spejewski
Janet Leonhardt
From Carol Leonhardt
Scott Jonathan Lewis
From Jean Lewis
Florence T. Lehner
From Helene & David Wynn,
Mr. & Mrs. Victor Cristiano,
Joyce Rajkowski & Adam
DeSimone
Howard Levey
From Dan Levey
Owen James Lynch
From Anne Coughlin
Michel Matsangakis
From Nicolas Matsangakis
Son of Lance Miller
From Laura Mazzocchi
Brian Miller
From Don & Beckie Miller
Shannon Marie &
Alexandra Jordan
Nolan-Broe
From LC & Sherry Nolan
Anthony Joseph Pesta
From Ralph & Mildred Pesta
David Pottinger
From Carolee Hildenbrandt
Lisa Marie Weaver
From Howard & Ann Klerk
John Powell
From Holly Brians Ragusa
Becky Reed
From James & Ann Reed
Donations
Jennifer Benator
Howard Berman
CCPOA
Comfort Dogs
Talia Diamond
Courtney Dunn
Bette Erwin
Michael Fallek
Michael Garfield
Jerry L. Snyder
Elizabeth Green
Aaron Habel
Silvia Hakim
Timothy Hayes
In Honor of
National POMC Staff
From Arnold Muscovitz
In Memory of
James Roback
From Joan Roback
Stephen Sanchez
From Claudine Sanchez
Parrott
Douglas Schwartz
From Sadie Schwartz Mitzvah
Project
Peter Serrano
From Michelle Serrano
Amanda Simpson
From Judith Simpson
Timothy Staunton
From Denise Coleman
Joseph Thornton
From Sue Thornton
Julia Ann Woodward
From Cecily O’Connor
Maddox Williams
From Victoria Vose
Cassandra Yeager
From Paula Sabo
Donations
Tanya Hirsch
Alyssa Johnson
Holly L’Oiseau
Giuliana Darocha Pinto
Mr. & Mrs. Derek
Marchman
Myla Marovich
Jeanne Martin
Jessica Mattox
Pam McPartlan
Cheryl Middleton
Nicole Mister
Amy Mueller
Rosemarie Nick
Robert & Rosemary Nuelle
Jr.
Amy Powers
Rebekah Purchase
David & Linda Rein
Carla & Chris Rideaux
Alan Schwartz
Nonie & Melvin Schwartz
Stephen Schorr
Karen Swerdlin
Mr. & Mrs. Shawn Teeters
Texas Wake N Scrape Car
Show: Matt & Naomi Spence
Steven Weil
WHW Family Foundation
Mary Zedler; Tom Haire
Inc.
SURVIVORS Page 15
Christopher Beverly: Case Information: CRIMINAL INVESTIGATION SECTION
MEDIA RELEASE June 13, 2021. On June 12, 2021, at approximately 11:10 PM, District
Four officers responded to a reported shooting in the 8400 block of Dixie Avenue. Re-
sponding officers located a deceased victim suffering from a gunshot wound. The victim
has been identified as Christopher Beverly, a male 30 years of age. The investigation by the
Cincinnati Police Department’s Homicide Unit is ongoing. Anyone with information about
this homicide is asked to call the Homicide Unit at (513) 352-3542.
UNSOLVED CRIMES
IF YOU WOULD LIKE YOUR LOVED ONES UNSOLVED CRIME ADDED TO SURVIVOR
NEWSLETTER, PLEASE SEND IN NAME, PICTURE AND SHORT DESCRIPTION OF
MURDER. (EXAMPLE: SEE ABOVE)
38
th
Annual National Conference
July 18-21, 2024
3475 Las Vegas Blvd.
South Las Vegas, Nevada 89109
Harrah’s Reservations can be booked using:
https://book.passkey.com/go/SHPOM4
The phone number for room reservations is
1-800-CAESARS (223-7277)
SAVE THE DATE
Over the last 40 years there has been significant growth in the area of Crime Victim Rights and much of that, I
believe, is attributable to the power of the personal stories of crime victims as referenced in Mr. Gillis’ quote.
“As difficult as it may be for survivors of homicide victims to tell the story of their loved one along with
their own journeys through trauma, grief, healing, and the criminal justice system we must not lose sight of
the impact our stories have on those who work within the criminal justice system and/or on our legislators
who craft laws effecting homicide survivors.”
1
OVC Archive https://www.ncjrs.gov/ovc_archives/ncvrw/2005/pg1b.html
2
Parents Of Murdered Children website https://pomc.org/parole-block/
Cont’d from page 2
SURVIVORS
Page 16
With
Sherry Nolan
Contact Person/Chapter Leaders/State Coordinator Corner
There are hundreds of survivors across the U.S.
who volunteer for the National Organization of
POMC as Chapter Leaders, Co-Leaders, Con-
tact Persons and State Coordinators. If you feel
that you are at a point in your life where you are
ready to reach out to others who have suffered
the loss of a loved one due to violence, please con-
tact me. The following states need someone to
offer support services through phone, email, sup-
port group meetings, & court accompaniment,
etc.:
We want to take this opportunity to thank
the following volunteers for the valuable
services that they provide to other survi-
vors on behalf of POMC, Inc. If you would
like more information about our volunteer
opportunities, please contact Sherry No-
lan, National Volunteer Coordinator, at:
(513) 721-5683 OR s[email protected]g
Thank you to the following Chapters for
dedication, compassion and selflessness shown
through their continued efforts to provide
on-going emotional support to others through
phone calls, email, support group meetings, court
accompaniment, local events bringing about
awareness, education, and advocacy to victims of
crime, and remembrance programs for the
surviving family members whose loved ones lives
were taken from them.
IN THIS 2023 ANNIVERSARY, POMC
ACKNOWLEDGES THOSE CHAPTERS WITH
ARTICLES OF ASSOCIATION THAT WERE
SIGNED BETWEEN SEPTEMBER 1ST AND
DECEMBER 31ST OF THE YEAR THEY BE-
CAME A PROBATIONARY CHAPTER.
• Greater San Bernardino/Riverside Area Chap-
ter/CA—6 years
• San Diego Chapter/CA—17 years
• Wichita Kansas Chapter/KS--- 35 years
• North Bronx/Westchester Chapter/NY—29
years
• Albany, New York (Capital District) Chapter/
NY- 41 years
• Peninsula South Bay Chapter/CA—42 years
• Houston Chapter/TX—42 years
• Central Arkansas Chapter/AR—33 years
• Tri County Chapter/FL—10 years
• Northwest Ohio Chapter/OH—1 year
CP/SC/CL UPDATES
If you have a message of interest, a great fundraising idea,
upcoming Chapter events, special awards or recognitions
received or ideas that you would like to share with our
“POMC family”, please mail them to my attention: Sherry
Nolan at National POMC or email them to
snolan@pomc.org. The deadline for receipt of the next
newsletter articles is November 30, 2023. Please note: due
to deadlines or overflow of articles, etc., we may not be
able to include all of those received in the next SNL, but
may keep them for future newsletters. Thanks for all that
you do on behalf of others through POMC.
PARENTS OF MURDERED CHILDREN, INC. (POMC) headquartered in Cincinnati, Ohio is the only national self-
help organization designed solely to offer emotional support and information about surviving the loss of a loved one to
murder. It was founded by Charlotte and Robert Hullinger in 1978, three months after their daughter, Lisa was mur-
dered.
“It began out of our personal need, not out of any altruistic motives,” Charlotte Hullinger says. “From it developed the
realization that most people don’t have any idea of what it’s like to have a child murdered.” Based on the idea that
grief must be shared, Parents Of Murdered Children, Inc., was born. From its quiet birth, POMC has expanded to
include other family members and friends who are survivors. POMC now has Chapters and Contact Persons across
the United States and provides assistance and support to thousands of survivors each year.
Alabama District of Columbia
Mississippi Montana
Nebraska Nevada
New Mexico North Dakota
Oklahoma Rhode Island
South Dakota Utah
Vermont West Virginia
Wyoming
SURVIVORS Page 17
Contact Person/Chapter Leaders/State Coordinator Corner
IN MEMORIAM
Recognizing those who served POMC as a Chapter Leader, Co-Leader,
Contact Person and/or Anniversary Card Writer.
James T. Lym - July 7, 2023 - Chapter Leader of the Minnesota Hope Chapter of POMC for many years.
James Timothy Lym, age 93, passed away on Friday, July 7th, surrounded by his wife and four loving daughters. Jim was born on
August 12, 1929, to Ernest and Kathryn (Cassidy) Lym in South Saint Paul, MN.
He was preceded in death by his son, Michael; his great-grandson, Gavin; sisters, Dorothy Lym and Margaret Murphy.
He is survived by his wife, Joan; daughters, Kathy (Mike) Dooley, Patty (Andy) Bierwerth, Therese (Ray) Robbins, and Mary (Zach)
Adams; grandchildren, Melissa (Brendan) Szala, Amanda (Kyle) Smith, Matt Bierwerth, Lindsey (Nate) Dillon, Ryan Dooley, Abby
Adams, Sarah (Tucker) Moses, Dillon Adams, and Tanner Adams; great-grandchildren, Trevor, Charly, Max, Zoey, Cameron, Colin,
Brianna, and Lexie.
He was a graduate of the University of Minnesota, where he studied Political Science and went on to join the Army where he worked in Counterin-
telligence during the Korean War. On January 7th, 1956, he married Joan Hynes at the Church of St. Andrew in St Paul. He worked in the Insur-
ance Industry for over 40 Years, where he helped to pioneer the coverage of Directors and Officers Liability Insurance.
Betty Ferguson - February 22, 2023 - POMC Contact Person for many years.
In life we are given many gifts, none more important than family and friends. As we enjoy those relationships while living, our hearts
break when it is time for them to go. Betty Ferguson, 80, of Erie, PA, passed away February 22, 2023 at Elmwood Gardens, after a
brief illness. Raised in Erie, PA she was one of four sisters born to the late Harold Palmer and Inez Heinonen.
She began volunteering at the Rape Crisis Center in the early 1980's. She eventually became an employee, remaining there for 25
years. In her time there, Betty earned several awards, including the Governor's Excellence Award, for her work with a mediation pro-
gram that permitted crime victims and/or families an opportunity to meet the offender. Betty also worked at the Whole Life Education
Center, teaching individuals and groups the process of healing their life, and how that was possible through the pursuit of forgiveness. She was
also nominated by a friend and selected by Edinboro University to receive an Honorary Doctorate for her years of service to the community
through counseling, teaching, public speaking, and being a tireless example of healing, recovery, love, laughter and finding your own truth.
Betty loved spending time by the water, travel, writing and talking for hours with anyone on their journey. She enjoyed her family get-togethers, a
favorite being "Spend the Night" each year just before Christmas. It is impossible to capture in one obituary, the life of someone who has lived 80
years. It is, however, possible to see some of it in the legacy they leave in those who knew and loved them. "How lucky we are to have something
that makes saying goodbye so difficult." A.A. Milne
She is proceeded in death by her husband Norm Ferguson, sister Ester Tesorero, and beloved daughter Debbie Gama. Betty is survived by her
sons Rick (Mandy), Daryll, Glenn and daughter Myshelle (Doug), her sisters Shirley Palmer and Carol Whiteman, several grand and great grand-
children.
VOLUNTEERS ARE ESSENTIAL IN FULFILLING
OUR MISSION!
NOTHING TEACHES HOPE, KINDNESS, COUR-
AGE, AND COMPASSION LIKE HELPING OTH-
ERS.
VOLUNTEERS DO NOT NECESSARILY HAVE
THE TIME…THEY JUST HAVE THE HEART.
We would also like to extend our thanks to the
many Contact Persons and State Coordinators
throughout the U.S. who also offer valuable ser-
vices to those survivors in their state who reach out
to them for additional support, especially when
there is not a POMC Chapter nearby. These volun-
teers are willing to spend time talking, and especial-
ly listening, to others about their loss. Let us recog-
nize all of them for offering continuous supportive
services to others for many years.
NEW CHAPTER
One new Chapter has joined the National POMC family recently and has opened their door to offer support:
The Greater Midwest Chapter of POMC
Chapter Leader: Yvonne Stewart (Parent)
Merrillville, Indiana
219-616-0069
Co-Leader: Stacy Spejewski (Parent)
Dyer, Indiana
219-682-7785
SURVIVORS
Page 18
Dedication Page Information
Dedication Pages are included in each publication
of the Survivors Newsletters. Not only is this a way
to memorialize our loved ones, it also helps to
defray the cost of publishing the newsletter. We
offer this opportunity to pay tribute with poems,
photos (black and white only), letters/loving
thoughts or special requests.
The prices for dedication pages are as follows:
$35.00 for a quarter page, $65.00 for a half page or
$125.00 for a full page.
Send item and appropriate donation to “Dedication
Page,” POMC, 635 W. 7th Street, Suite 307,
Cincinnati, OH 45203. Please include your name
and daytime phone number in case we have to
contact you for clarification.
*REMINDER*
Has something changed ? Please, let POMC
know if your name, address, email or phone
number have changed. Call us toll free at (888)
818-7662 or email us at natlpomc@pomc.org
POMC Catalog Available
POMC’s “Journey Through Grief” catalog is available by
contacting POMC at: (513) 721-5683. The catalog can
also be downloaded from our website at: www.pomc.org.
The catalog provides color photos and a listing for all POMC
items: books, bumper stickers, brochures, clothing, magnets,
music, etc.
Information on items for POMC’s National Day of
Remembrance for Murder Victims, special gifts, memorials,
and tributes are also included in the catalog.
Contact POMC today for your free copy .
Did you know
Amazon.com is a
POMC sponsor?
POMC receives 4-13% depending on item of all
Amazon.com purchases made through the amazon
link on our webpage. The use of this link does not
increase the cost of your purchase.
Our future depends on you!
Please remember the National Organization of
Parents Of Murdered Children in your will
and estate planning.
Thank you for keeping us in mind.
ATTENTION:
NEW ONLINE SUPPORT GROUP THROUGH FACEBOOK.
Are you on Facebook? If so make sure to join our Facebook support group which is being used
as a topic forum to talk among one another, share stories of your loved one and lean on one
another for support. You can join the group at www.facebook.com/groups/POMCOFFICIAL
Please note, this is the ONLY official online POMC support group. If you belong to other
groups claiming to be POMC please be aware that they are not affiliated with or representatives
of POMC.
We still have our National page on Facebook as well which is used for updates within the
organization and National Office as well as other important information. Again, this is the
ONLY official page for POMC (besides Chapter pages) so please be aware if you are linked
with other pages claiming to be a POMC Facebook account. You can access our National
Facebook page at www.facebook.com/NationalPOMC.
SURVIVORS Page 19
Survivors VOL. 41, No.3, Fall 2023
Published three times annually by
Parents Of Murdered Children, Inc.
635 W. 7th Street, Suite 307
Cincinnati, Ohio 45203
(513) 721-5683 www.pomc.org
Content prepared by POMC Editorial team
Survivors Newsletter Subscription
Please find enclosed $15.00 for my annual
subscription (three issues) for the Survivors
Newsletter ($25.00 outside the United States).
Please consider adding an extra subscription
fee to help defray the cost for someone who
cannot afford to subscribe.
(Please Print)
Name:_____________________________________
Address:____________________________________
___________________________________________
City, State, Zip:______________________________
Email Address:______________________________
Phone number: ( ) _________________________
Amount enclosed: $_________ for _______ year (s)
Payment method: ___Check __Visa __MasterCard
__American Express __Discover
Card number:_______________________________
Expiration date:_____________________________
Enclosed is an extra $__________ donation for
someone in need and is given in:
Memory of:_________________________________
Honor of:___________________________________
All those donating an extra gift ‘in loving
memory of’, or ‘in honor of’ will be listed in
the next issue of the Survivors newsletter. To
have POMC send a letter acknowledging your
gift to the family, please provide family’s
name, address, city, state, and zip code.
Return to:
Parents Of Murdered Children, Inc.
635 W. 7th Street, Suite 307
Cincinnati, Ohio 45203
Editor
Executive Director
Chapter Coordinator
Bev Warnock
Ratna Pati
Sherry Nolan
Webmaster
Sandy Barlion
Parents Of Murdered Children, Inc.
For the families of those who have died by violence
635 W. 7th Street, Suite 307
Cincinnati, Ohio 45203
Table of Contents:
The Magic Number …………………………...………………………………………… Pages 1-2
Mount Notre Dame Capstone Project ………………………………………………….. Page 2
A Message from the National Board: Jay Gorski ………………………………………. Page 3
A Message from the Executive Director: Beverly Warnock…………………………… Page 4
Greenlights Grant Initiative Page 4
2023 POMC National Conference ……………….……………………………………… Pages 5-7
From One Survivor to Another ………………………………………………………….. Pages 7-9, 13
Murder Wall……………………………………………………………………………… Pages 10-11
Parole Block Program …………………………………………………………………… Page 12
Kids Wish Network’s, Hero of the Month Program…………………………………….. Page 12
Donations ………………………………………………………………………………... Pages 14
Unsolved Crimes: Christopher Beverly …………………………………………………. Page 15
2024 POMC National Conference: Save the Date ………………………………………. Page 15
Contact Person, Chapter Leaders & State Coordinator Corner …………………………. Pages 16-17
Additional Information ………………………………………………………………….. Page 18
Newsletter Subscription & Editorial Team ……………………………………………… Page 19
